Sacha Baron Cohen
Interview By: Andrea Tuccillo
AndreaTuccillo@TheCinemaSource.com
With his cheap-looking grey suit, over-sized mustache, and a crazy accent of broken English, Borat Sagdiyev is quite a character. He'll make you squirm with talks of his in-bred family in Kazakhstan, his twisted world views, and his ideas about George W. Bush. He's controversial, he's offensive, and oh yeah, he's a complete creation of British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen. Borat is clueless, rude and anti-Semitic'yet hilarious in all of his inappropriateness. In his new faux documentary, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, the crazy foreign journalist takes an unsuspecting America by storm'desperate to learn the ways of our culture.
Here he shares a little bit about his life, the differences between American and Kazakh culture, and what it was like making his first 'moviefilm.'
Q: Can you tell us about yourself'
A: My name is Borat Sagdiyev. I son of Azambala Sagdiyev and Bogtok the Rapist. I am former husband of Oksana Sagdiyev, who was daughter of Marianne Tuliakbi and Bogtok the Raptist. My hobbies is disco dance, table tennis, and also taking photographs of ladies doing toilet without their knowledge. Why not, they don't know. I have one of you. I have previous work as ice make, gypsy catcher and I was also work in computer maintenance. I was the one who paint the outsides and removes dead birds from its pipes. I have three childrens, Bilaq and Biram and Hooey Lewis, who is twelve years old. He has two childrens. Bilaq, who is 13, have American pen friend called Mr. Foley; all the time, 'come, come visit me, I come visit you, arrange, we pay, we meet in hotel room. Why not' It's very nice!' My sister make my family very proud by being the number four prostitute in all of Kazakhstan. And she recently receive award from Kazak minister of industry for Best Sex In Mouth. I also have a brother named Bilo. He is a retard with a small head, but very strong arms. He have 204 teeth, 201 in mouth and three in nose. My first wife is dead, high five! You like to kill your wife' Yes' I did not kill her. She was shoot by a hunter who mistake her for a bear because she have much hair on her arms and back. No problem, I have a new wife. But I like cheat, yes' Yes' Yes' I'm looking at you. This is awkward. Can you please ask another question'
Q: You recently met with President Bush. What is your opinion of him'
A: We in Kazakhstan very much admire your might warlord, George Walter Bush. He is a very wise man and also a strong man, but perhaps not as strong as his father, Barbara. Please, next question.
Q: How does America's political system compare with Kazakhstan'
A: There are small differences between our system of politic. In Kazak elections, for example, the winner is not the man with the most votes, but the candidate who can carry a woman against her will for the furthest distance. Our present leader can manage 4.3 miles. How long can Premier Bush' There are other differences too. In America, a woman can vote, but a horse cannot. It is unusual. We say in our country, to give a woman a vote, is like to let the monkey fly a plane. Very dangerous! Yes' We do not do this anymore since the 2001 Astana Air crash.
Q: Did you enjoy your time filming here'
A: I would like say that I liking U.S. and A very much, enjoy your peoples and enjoy your delicious foods. First day I here, I go to a restaurant named McDonalds, which is so fancy pants it actually have a separate room for make toilet in. There, I eat 17 hamburgers and six hundred packets of red soup called ketchups. This did not agree so much with my stomach and the next day my anus was hang loose like the mouth of a tired dog. But I learn many things that is different than how expect your country. For example, I was surprised to learn that it is now illegal to shoot at red Indians. Once again, if anyone watching this, I would like to apologize with all my heart to Chief Running Deer at the Potoatomi Casino in Nevada.
Q: What American person would you like to meet'
A: I would most like to meet some of the new Hollywood starlets, in particular Elizabeth Taylor. Wowaweewa! I would also like to meet fearless anti-Jew warrior, Melvin Gibsons. We in Kazakhstan agree with his comments that the, uh, Jews started all wars, and we also have proof that they were responsible for killing off all the dinosaurs. Also, Hurricane Katrina, they did it. I would also like to have encounter with American football hero, O.J. Simpson, who is a huge star in my country and has earlier this year visited the capital, Al Madi where he judged the Miss Kazakhstan contest. Ladies very much like this muscular man, yes. One contestant was so crazy on him that she break into his hotel room while he was sleeping, she then stabbed herself to death and covered his clothes in blood. Fanatic!
Q: What movies inspired your film' And what films do you admire'
A: In Kazakhstan, we are huge fannies of US and A movie films. And we have shown this by manufacturing pirate dvds of many of them. We like movies of funny man Edward Murphy. We in Kazakhstan laugh very much when we see his chocolate face. Yes' It is unusual, the color... not so funny' All right. Other American films we like are 'Robotcop', 'Titanic' and the sex comedy, 'The Accused'. That scene on the snooker table'
Q: How will the release of your movie around the world affect your life in Kazakhstan'
A: You know, I try to stay a normal persons. I like relax like any other ordinary man. I shoot dogs. I receive mouth party from my sister, and I drink fermented horse urine with the boys. I just a regular guy. But I am proud of my status. I now am the fourth most famous person in all of Kazakhstan. Number three is ex-Olympic gymnast Liliot Markham who now perform in the State Circus where she is famous for being able to put one foot in mouth, while the other is in vagin. Deep! Incredible! Number two, is our glorious premier Naza Bayev. And number one is childrens' favorite animal actor, Johnny the Monkey who, as you may know, was the star of 'Trans-Sibelski Express' and many, many other pornos. But it is not just me that have changed, Kazakhstan have improved very much since I returned from U.S. and A. We have recently introduced the death penalty from your country. Great idea, we give it for such serious crime such as murder, cleaning anus with our national flag, and baking bagels.
Q: What are your future projects'
A: I not sure exactly when I will next make a movie film because for the next 18 months my country's camera is fully booked for make other television program. These include programs such as 'Kazakhstan's Next Top Prostitute', and a comedy film about a person who left it very late in his life to make sexy time. It is called 'The Four-Year-Old Virgin', almost five and he never make liquid explosion!
Q: Has working on a big movie change your opinion of women' Were there women on your crew'
A: There is no womens in Kazak film industry. We say, to give a woman a camera, is like to give a monkey a gun. We have stopped doing that ever since the 2003 Almati Zoo massacre.
Q: Everybody wants to know about your relationship with Pamela Anderson'
A: I must make clear that this lady, Pamela, has start to stalk me, as you say. Already this week she have sent three love messages through her lawyer saying sexy things like I must not go closer than thirty miles from her house, mail her my dirty underpants, or say in my MySpace bloggings that I want to make romance inside her. Pamela, if you watch this, leave me alones. Uh, she will not be arrive at the premier, no.
Q: Do you date on the Internet'
A: I have tried hard on Internet to meet nice western girlies for chit-chat and sexy time. My preference is ladies with yellow hairs, plow experience, and little or no history of retardation in family. I have even offer television with a remote control, a red dress and two strong shoes, all of which I will remove from the body of my late wife. But in return I insist that they will not cheat on me. I must say I am the second Kazak man ever on MySpaces. First, was the Minister of Agriculture, Murat Tukiyov, but his page was taken down because of a sex crime. No problem, he is now posing as Johnny Texas, age 11. He has already received 2000 messages from your Mr. Foley.
Q: Tell us about your producer, Azamat.
A: I would like to pay tribute to my producer Azamat, who is fat. He is the most experienced person in the Kazak film industry and in the past twenty years have personally watched over 17 movies. He do a superbs job at producing my movie film, which have already been released in Kazakhstan and was a huge blockbusterings. It took the top spot from the Hollywood movie, 'King Kong', which had been the number one film in my country ever since it was released in 1932. Azamat is currently producer of children's game show, 'Gypsy Bingo' where we put numbers on the back of twenty gypsies. The contestants have to bet which number will reach other side of minefield before, BOOM! It's good!
Q: What do you think of the ads in the New York Times by the Kazak government'
A: These claims that Kazakhstan is tolerant of religions and treat women equally are all disgusting fabrications perpetrated by the assholes, Uzbekistan, who, as I've said before, are a very nosy people with a bone in the middle of their brain. If there is one more item of Uzbeki propaganda claiming that we in Kazakhstan do not drink fermented horse urine, or give the death penalty for cleaning anus with flag, or export over 300 tons of human pubis every year, then we will be left with no alternative than to commence bombardments of their cities with our catapults.
Q: What are your plans for the DVD of Borat'
A: The anti-Communist organization, Fox, will be releasing the DVD in Spring. We in Kazakhstan will be releasing our own pirate version one month earlier. It will have everything the Fox one has and some special extras including Superman Returns and Da Vinci Code.
Q: Why is your government so angry with Sacha Baron Cohen'
A: As I have said before, I have no connection with Mr. Cohen, and I fully support my government's decision to sue this Jew. Thank you very much for people in U.S. and A. Very nice be here, meet you and very honor for me and my friend Azamat to be here and be welcome by you. I hope later after junkets, you can come back my hotel room. We can wrestle totally nude, and drink and shoot dogs from the window. Thank You, I like you!
