There are many things wrong with Body of Lies, but Russell Crowe’s presence is a pretty good place to start. He plays CIA agent Ed Hoffman, the direct superior of agent in the field Roger Ferris (Leonardo DiCaprio), and he hams it up shamelessly: he’s a couple dozen pounds heavier than normal, he peers over the rim of his glasses about eight times per minute, he turns every line into a mini-speech, and he incessantly calls Ferris “buddy.”

The problem is, the Hoffman character does nothing for the movie. By my count, he only does one thing that has any bearing on the plot, a minor complication for Ferris that’s nothing too serious. Beyond that, his long, pointless scenes are useless and a distraction to the real story; at best, he’s a very grating Greek chorus.

In other words, Crowe agreed to play the part not because he thought he’d be good for the movie, but because he knew he’d found a part he’d be allowed to overact the heck out of (especially with his friend Ridley Scott directing him), to the detriment of the movie.

I’m well aware that stars take roles based on how many cool speeches they get or how good they’ll look, and not necessarily how good they think the movie will be. It’s just that a star ego has rarely come across so loudly on screen in the finished product.

Unfortunately, Body of Lies is disappointing beyond the presence of Crowe. It’s well-structured, all right — the plot is easier to follow than it could have been and dutifully contains well-paced heapings of action and globe-hopping, the theme is well-tied-together, and the dialogue pops. Ridley Scott and screenwriter William Monahan (The Departed) certainly know what they’re doing. But it’s like they’re two brain surgeons working on a patient they don’t realize is already dead.

The content is just bad. The movie tries to present itself as an international thriller with real-life relevance, but relies on a one-hero-against-the-bad-guys action movie conceit. And what a hero: he spends much of the middle half of the movie concocting an elaborate plot to catch a high-level terrorist, only to watch his idea blow up in his face. He then spends the remainder of the movie as the know-nothing pawn of another, smarter man. Total accomplishments: zero.

No, wait, it gets worse: while he’s gallivanting around the Middle East doing all this stuff, he also of course finds the time to fall in love with a beautiful local girl (Golshifteh Farahani). Here’s an idea: when you’re a CIA agent stationed in the Middle East with full awareness that (a) you’re being watched at all times and (b) things could go very badly for you starting at any second, don’t start spending time with a cute local girl.