Bangkok Dangerous

Review By: Dan Deevy
DanDeevy@TheCinemaSource.com

Bangkok Dangerous... more like, Bangkok Ridiculous! This was hands down the worst movie I’ve seen in ages; which is saying quite a lot considering I just saw Babylon AD which was just plain awful.

Those of you who know me and have read my reviews before, know that I am generally the most forgiving critic on the planet! In fact, the title of ‘critic’ doesn’t even really suit me considering how not ‘critical’ I am of most things. So when I tell you how bad this movie was I think you’ll find that I am not overstating the matter.

A remake of the 1999 film out of Thailand of the same name, Bangkok Dangerous is the story of a contract killer played by Nicolas Cage who also produces, who has one last assignment to complete before retiring and disappearing off the face of the earth. But of course on this last job he meets a woman who he immediately falls in love with because... well, to be honest I’m not sure why he does. Her most appealing attribute to him seems to be the fact that she is deaf and that seems to be enough for him.

On this last job he also finds himself growing attached to his errand boy that he hires and ultimately becomes his mentor teaching him how to become an assasain. (Keep in mind we are supposed to believe he has done this countless times before and each time he kills the lacky, but not this time! Why? No idea. It’s completely forced and even harder to buy than the ‘love’ story.

Aside from having a boring, predictable plot and executing it in the least believable fashion possible, the film is also shot practically completely in the dark. I’m serious, if I were actually interested in what was happening on screen I would have been pissed because for the majority of the movie you can’t see what’s going on; and what you can see is grainy and distorted. I had an acting professor in college who always used to say the only time the audience can ask for their money back was if you couldn’t be seen or heard. So I guess I should be asking for my money back for multiple reasons.

Nicolas Cage needs to take a little break from film making and get a job selling real estate or something because the man looks tired. As a leading man you have to give the audience something to find appealing, be it physical or emotional. Unfortunately Cage both looks and acts like he just got out of a ‘cage match’ against the worlds most powerful wrestlers and trust me, he lost. He lost big time!

As far as the action sequences in the film, there was nothing new or inventive here. All the same angles and shots, same old same old with the stunts and like I said earlier a lot of it was in the pitch black so ...