G-Force

Review By: Tom Herrmann
TomHerrmann@TheCinemaSource.com

Movie Grade: D

Don’t see it, it’s that simple. If you don’t have kids or the movie taste of a nine year old, just spare yourself the hour and a half. Maybe read a book, do some yard work, or watch Scrubs on Comedy Central because it’s always on. To be honest, watching paint dry would be a nice cliché way to spend your time rather than in G-Force, it would also be much more mentally stimulating and might have a better plot.

If you haven’t had the displeasure of sitting through the three minutes of torture some people are calling the “trailer” for this than, G-Force is about a team of guinea pig spies. At this point I should just be able to grade this and move onto more constructive things like smashing my head into a wall but I wouldn’t want any of you to make the mistake of doubting me due to a lack of evidence. So the team doesn’t feel like they are being taken seriously (I wonder why) and are trying to become official agents.

In an attempt to earn their badges the team tries to foil the plot of generic evil corporation A or Saber and their predictably British leader Leonard Saber (Bill Nighy). After a minor slip up, the government decides to shut down their operation and all the members of G-Force wind up in a local pet store. Now they have to escape while encountering as many shenanigans as possible in an effort to stop the corporation and save the world.

This is an abrupt change of subject but after learning that the majority of readers don’t finish articles, this has to be said as quickly as possible. I am going to say it outright that urban humor in kids movies is like school in summer time… (If you don’t get that reference than you don’t deserve to laugh at the joke) Here are some of the lines that Blaster (Tracy Morgan), the token black guinea pig (yes they have one of those) excretes in this one, “Off the hizook,” “yeah boy!!” and “pimp my ride,” and those are just a few of the obnoxious and interchangeable one liners you get subjected to.

To set the record straight, I am a fan of urban humor but every type of humor has its place. You wouldn’t put fart jokes in a film like The Godfather because within those circumstances it is in bad taste, the same goes for urban humor in kids movies. I would imagine that it comes of more offensive than anything to people from urban areas because it’s always a completely ridiculous character spewing it out anyway.

Taking a step back towards the basics, I feel like there wasn’t much go gin on as far as the story is concerned. There was the basic idea that they wanted to become official spies but the writers seem to have very limited attention spans. The story breaks up ...