A ton of unimportant character development follows for Shia’s Sam that is exactly what you’d expect it to be. You’ve seen it a million times before nothing new. By the time we get back to the actual Transformers we’ve met a few faceless new robots that no one cares about and then Optimus and the gang appear. Prime, while being the closest to looking familiar, still looks like a completely different guy. None of the Autobots are recognizable and sadly the exact same is true of the Decepticons. And Megatron, ya know, the super villain whose appearance has worked like a charm for 20 years? Well according to “writer” Robert Orci, him transforming into a gun, “Just didn’t work,” so now he’s a jet. That’s right folks… a jet. “Him turning into a Nazi Luger just never worked,” so says Mr. Orci. Funny how a show who’s lead villain ‘Never Worked’ managed to endure for as long as Transformers has. Thank God you weren’t around at the inception of the cartoon Mr. Orci. It would have ended before it began.

The arrogance surrounding this creative team to sweep in and make changes like this and laugh off the fans disapproval as they do is really quite astounding. At one point during a press conference dictator, I mean, director Michael Bay glibly jokes, “I knew fans would be moaning about this and that,” laughter ensues, “One thing I read on-line was from a guy saying, ‘you’ve destroyed my childhood,” extremely laughter ensues. I honestly wonder if the next time he jumps into his $400,000 car or walks into his multi million dollar home he’ll remember to mock the fans whose hard earned money enabled him to buy those things.

The special effects are amazing and cutting edge. A lot of innocent people get killed in horrific and unsettling ways, and that’s A-OK as far as the Autobots are concerned as long as they aren’t intentionally killing them. Collateral Damage apparently isn’t a bad thing according to our new 21st Century Optimus Prime, who previously had never let any innocent person die because of their war regardless of the circumstances. But, I guess that’s too small of a thing to nit pick about right? Death and War are fun and in this context are not meant to be thought about or analyzed in any way lest you be mocked by Michael Bay. Woo Hoo, fun!!!

Sadly, compromising the integrity of the source material for the purposes of sequelization is nothing new in the world of film and particularly not new to my creative production friends at Paramount. It pains me to say it because I love them, but the same is the case and was the ...