Review By: John Wheatley
I never liked either Tim Allen or Courtney Cox - I'm sorry Courtney Cox Arquette's television shows. In fact, I developed a genuine distaste for both programs. So I was really excited to see that they both signed on to star in Sky High 2, I mean Zoom. No it's not an official sequel, buy it's pretty much the same plot. Tim Allen was a super hero, whose brother was turned evil and banished underground 30 years ago. Now he's a normal citizen who's brought back to train four new recruits to battle his brother who is set to escape from his underground prison in a few weeks. The plot in this movie is moronic to begin with, but it doesn't even do moronic well.
Now for our fab four. First, there's the invisible boy, played by Michael Cassidy (who I'm told also features on television's The OC.) I'd say, based on Zoom, he should not quit his day job, but, having seen an episode of The OC once, he should probably just quit acting all together. Then there is Spencer Breslin, or Mega Boy. You heard me, Mega Boy. He's "the fat guy" with the ability to make his body parts swell to enormous sizes. I can't imagine his ability ever adding much to a group of super heroes, but then again it's appropriate because Breslin adds nothing to the movie. Kate Mara, who we all loved to hate this year on 24, plays a girl with telekinetic powers. Although anyone who watched her this year on 24's 6th season knows she can act, she looks bored throughout this movie. The only standout was Ryan Newman, who, as “Princess” does the best impression of Dakota Fanning I've seen to date. The movie does little to explore the back stories of these kids which might have made it more interesting. Chevy Chase is in this movie too, remember when he was funny? I don't -- I'm only 20 years old.
A good portion of Zoom is just Tim Allen making tired and low-brow jokes about the characters around him. The movie does little emotionally, as big dramatic moments are constantly botched and seem almost avoided. Most the first half of the movie is set to emo music. If there's anything better than Tim Allen set to annoying whiney emotional "punk" music, I don't know of it. When they kicked in with a Dave Matthews song halfway through the movie, I almost walked out. It seems like entire portions of this movie may have been cut out of the production for whatever reason, either that or just a very poor editing