Bad Teacher is probably going to be my favorite summer movie, bar none. This is because even though I like explosions and transforming space robots and intergalactic space cops, I have an even stronger penchant for the subversive amoral anti-hero in all of us. I also have an equally potent, nearly psychotic distaste for goody-two-shoes near pathological prim and proper sociopaths (and they are all, in fact, sociopaths). If you feel the same way, first e-mail me because I want to be your friend and then get a ticket to go see this movie. Seriously just go do it right now, it’s that good.

Bad Teacher portrays the evolution (or lack thereof) of Elizabeth Halsey (Cameron Diaz) from desperate and jaded woman, to full-fledged law-breaking black-mailing hero for all the wrong reasons, to fully complemented screw finding her ball with all the grace and hilarity of a great rollercoaster. Emmy nominated writers Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg of The Office crafted a well thought out, realistic portrayal of the subculture and subversive mind-set of the teachers that I know in real life. From the innocently sweet and naïve to the dangerously counter cultured to the dryly sarcastic and grounded good guys out there, this movie has it all.

Cameron Diaz is at her best playing sexy gold digging maneater Elizabeth Halsey. Her eyes do most of the storytelling and her naturally bubbly personality does not show through at all. Do not be mistaken; this is not cutesy Cameron in Charlie’s Angels. This is dark and twisted Vanilla Sky meets hilarious Knight and Day Cameron, with a little Shrek Forever After badass Fiona Cameron mixed in for a fun edge. Cameron is gritty, amoral, and has a massive chip on her shoulder coupled with a touch of a sense of entitlement.

She’s real. She’s saying and doing what every teacher I know in real life is thinking and fantasizing about. For example, at one point she writes “ARE YOU F*****G KIDDING ME?!” on a student’s essay in all upper case, underlines it twice, and then throws the papers at the class. Find one teacher that hasn’t wanted to do that. If you find one that doesn’t, look for scars near the tear ducts where they shoved the ice pick in for the lobotomy or the USB port they use to upgrade the Stepford software (I heard they upgraded to wireless so that may not work anymore).

What I’m trying to say is that the character of Elizabeth Hurley may actually be important. Teaching is difficult, and finding motivation in the best of circumstances (and Elizabeth IS in the best of circumstances) should keep everyone appreciative of what actual teachers go through. Cameron Diaz’s portrayal of the dejected, derailed woman searching for herself in other people and then finally finding it

in herself (albeit as an anti-hero) is a journey I found inspiring.

Jason Segel as sarcastically down to earth gym teacher Russel Gettis was also a refreshing change of pace from the usual “good guy waiting in the wings” role. Segel uses the kind of disarming wit and observational humor that gets me hitting the leg of the person next to me. He’s another guy I’d go have a beer with at the end of a stroke-inducing, sarcastically cheerful day at work. And while having a drink we would make fun of everyone we see in a non-cynical way. You’ll feel both attracted to and sorry for Russel as he keeps coming back for more punishment from the fast approaching pretty train wreck that is Cameron Diaz’s “Elizabeth Halsey”.

And a hero is only as big as her dragon to slay, and Lucy Punch plays psychotically peppy prim and proper Amy Squirrel to perfection. And to say “perfection” I mean to say that I hate her nearly from the moment I see her. Over motivated, over volunteering Ms. Squirrel has gone to one too many leadership classes and I expected to hear the word “synergize” at any moment. As she descends into madness and competes for the love of family money rich substitute teacher Scott Delacorte (Justin Timberlake) you will love the weapons that Elizabeth has at her disposal.

So, if you like watching the most deliciously bad use their powers for, uh, somewhat good, go see Bad Teacher. If you like watching obnoxiously goody goody’s get so completely beaten when they try to stoop down to a level only true manipulative artists can wallow in, go see Bad Teacher. If you want to see a love story that shows you it’s not about finding someone that’s perfect, but about finding someone who’s perfect for you, then go see Bad Teacher. And finally, if you are that person who rolls their eyes at all that is good and holy in this world, GO SEE BAD TEACHER! Plus it’s rated “R”, which I believe stands for “no annoying children in the audience”.

Synopsis:

Dumped by her sugar daddy, an unsaintly schoolteacher (Diaz) targets one of her colleagues as her next lover — a plan that pits her against a popular co-worker (Punch).