Employee of the Month

Do you like Dane Cook? I do. He's a funny man. I've never seen him live, but I've caught a handful of his stand-up specials on television, including his most recent on HBO. His riffs range from the familiar (fights with girlfriends) to the quirky (my favorite bit was about the joy of crying in front of a mirror), but he has a spot-on delivery that makes him solidly above-average in the world of observant stand-up humor.

He's also quite good-looking, which probably didn't hurt when he rocketed to stardom faster than any stand-up comic in recent memory. With his energetic performances and his devilish constant-smirk that would make any girl's father nervous, it's no wonder that he has a huge development deal at HBO and his recent second comedy CD was certified platinum.

And then, of course, the movies come knocking. He's no stranger to the business, having a few small roles in smaller films like Waiting and Torque under his belt. But his newest movie, Employee of the Month is a mainstream comedy with him in the lead that's surely meant to propel him to the upper echelons of high-paid comedians like your Sandlers and Ferrells. (An SNL alum he's not, but he has hosted twice and counting.)

The movie takes place in one of those giant wholesale warehouse stores like Sam's Club or Costco called Super Club (or, as the logo suggests, Club Super, but whatever). Cook plays Zack Bradley, a slacker box boy (is there any other kind?) who lives with his grandmother and likes to hang out with C-list celebrities like Andy Dick and Harland Williams, who also work at the store. His ultimate nemesis is overachiever Vince Downey (Punk'd's Dax Shepard), a bleached-blonde jerk who's in line to win Employee of the Month for eighteen straight months, which would win him a semi-new sedan. (He also has a penchant for C-list celebrities, as his closest ally is played by Efren Ramirez. You know, "Vote for Pedro.")

Enter Amy, played by Jessica Simpson's Breasts. Word on the street is that she only sleeps with the Employees of the Month. That would basically make her a slut, but never mind "” since she's played by Jessica Simpson's Breasts, Zack immediately wants her, and makes it his goal to win the title. Thus begins a huge competition with Vince, in which Zack becomes newly motivated but forgets about his old friends, etc. etc.

The plot is pure formula and is, hate to say it, pretty boring. Why can't the powers that be come up with a second formula besides the whole get-really-close-to-succeeding-then do-something-bad-which-makes-the-girl-hate-you and-you-think-all-hope-is-lost until-you-prove-yourself-in-the-end-and-get-the-girl-back routine?

The enjoyment of the movie can be found instead in the details. The employees constantly break and open merchandise so that they

can take it for themselves. Zack and his friends have a hidden lounge they can only access with a forklift. There's a funny subplot about the manager of the store being emasculated by his older brother, the owner, a little person who tells him to bend over so he can give him a noogie.

Still, by the time the credits have rolled and the lights have come up, you're likely to have chuckled a few times, maybe even a lot, but the movie never reaches true hilarity. In the production notes the director and cast inexplicably rave about all the improv that was going on on set, which, as far as I could tell, is nowhere to be found in the final cut of the movie. Maybe there'll be some decent deleted scenes?

Dane Cook is a solid lead and a believable slacker (even though he wears the kind of hairstyle that tries to look like he just got out of bed, but in reality probably took about an hour in front of the makeup mirror). He would truly excel in a much more anarchic role, and seeing him become motivated and productive kind of ruins the fun. Jessica Simpson's Breasts, meanwhile, make a bland but generally appealing presence. The true comic highlight of the film, though, comes from Dax Shepard, truly relishing the role of Vince. Sure, it's a fun character, but Shepard brings a lot to it, overacting just the right amount. He gets by far the most laughs and should, with any luck, have a solid career in front of him.

I suppose what all this amounts to is that it's not really worth eleven dollars (currently the normal ticket price in Manhattan). A night out with friends watching this wouldn't be a terrible idea, but you could probably find better ways to spend your time. You'll probably be better off waiting for the rental. Even then, though, I'd take Cook's standup over this movie any day of the week.

Movie Grade: B-

Synopsis:

For customers of Super Club, the largest high-volume, bulk-discount retailer in the country, membership has its privileges. For workers at the cavernous store, the most coveted honor is the "Employee of the Month" award, and having one's photo immortalized on the wall of fame in the staff lounge.

Enter Zack Bradley (Dane Cook) and Vince Downey (Dax Shepard), two ultra competitive Super Club workers whose ten years of employment have resulted in drastically different career paths. While Vince "” with the aid of his trusty sidekick Jorge (Efren Ramirez) — has advanced to become head cashier and winner of 17 consecutive "E of M" awards, Zack is the ultimate slacker whose scruffy appearance and laid back attitude has made him popular with his colleagues, but kept him stuck in the

lowly ranks of the store's box boys. The duo's longtime rivalry comes to a bitter head when Amy (Jessica Simpson) "” a beautiful new cashier with a reputation of only dating "Employee of the Month" winners "” transfers to the store, immediately becoming the object of both Zack and Vince's affection and often comical gamesmanship.

While Vince instantly impresses Amy with his crowd pleasing, flamboyant style behind his checkstand register, Zack's feeble attempts to charm his beautiful new co-worker quickly backfire against him. With the race to win Amy's affections slipping away, Zack determines his only chance rests in winning the store's next "Employee of the Month" award. A battle to the end, Employee of the Month shows that the only failure in life is when one fails to try.