Envy

Review by: Bruce Bluett

BruceBluett@TheCinemaSource.com

First off, I am the biggest Jack Black fan I know. Right now, I have Tenacious D in my CD player and School of Rock in my DVD player. Not to mention my Tenacious D poster on my wall, and Tenacious D t-shirts in my drawers. I've been a Jack Black fan way back to his Mr. Show days, which I own. As you can imagine I had some high expectations going into Envy. It might see unfair to put all of the weight on J.B., but I thought with a cast that included Ben Stiller, Amy Poehler, and Christopher Walken the film was definitely going to be good"¦not quite. You know that metaphor for envy, "the grass is always greener on the other side""¦in this case, the grass is greener in any other theatre than one that is playing Envy.

Best buddies and neighbors Tim Dingman (Ben Stiller) and Nick Vanderpark (Jack Black) having been living the average American life. That doesn't stop the ever-imaginative Nick from coming up with crazy schemes to make money. When he devises a plan to make dog poo disappear, he wants Tim to go in on the deal. Tm passes up on the seemingly ludicrous idea, but ends up watching Nick make millions. Now down and out, Tim follows the advice of the mysterious "J-Man" (Christopher Walken) to resolve his jealousy.

I can deal with the premise being a little strange, but the script just isn't funny. Plain and simple, the script isn't funny. The audience was silent for the vast majority of this "comedy". There was practically nothing the actors could do to patch up what the dialogue lacked. The only guy whose character actually livened up scenes was "The J-Man"; Walken was able to put some of his signature flare into something that could have come out very sloppy. One of the main things that disappointed me about the film was that it wouldn't let any of these famous talents be funny. First of all, I think it's about time Hollywood realized what a tremendous talent Amy Poehler is. She was absolutely hysterical on The Upright Citizens Brigade and I don't think her role as Nick's wife was up to half of the level she can perform at. Ben Stiller is another great example of the misuse of talent. Then again, he seems to always be playing the awkward guy in his movies.

I thought long and hard about how the film could have been better, and I think I came u with something. Ben Stiller and Jack Black should have switched roles. It's that simple. Jack Black would have played an awesome pissed off degenerate, and Ben Stiller would have been a

great larger than life feces millionaire! I honestly feel that would have made the film so much better, and if you do see Envy, imagine it for a minute"¦I think you'll agree.

I'm afraid they can't switch it up now though. What's done is done, and sadly"¦it spells bad news for all involved. As Norm McDonald so eloquently put it, this movie is going to be "box-office poison". That's ok J.B., everyone makes their Pearl Harbor's, but you'll show everyone up when Tenacious D In the Pick of Destiny comes out. Long live The D!

Movie Grade: D

Synopsis:

Ben Stiller and Jack Black star as Tim and Nick, best friends, neighbors and co-workers, whose equal footing is suddenly tripped up when one of Nick’s harebrained get-rich-quick schemes actually succeeds: Vapoorizer, a spray that literally makes dog poop, or any other kind for that matter, evaporate into thin air — to where exactly is anyone’s guess. Tim, who had scoffed at Nick’s idea and passed on an opportunity to get in on the deal, can only watch as Nick’s fortune — and Tim’s own envy — grow to equally outrageous proportions. When the flames of jealousy are fanned by an oddball drifter (Walken) who imposes himself into the situation, Tim’s life careens wildly out of control … taking Nick’s with it.