The opening of Haywire is like a scalding cup of coffee to the face. Because, well, it involves that very thing. Channing Tatum empties his steaming mug all over Gina Carano. A shocking act to be sure, but this chick can take it. In return, she slams his head against the ground and cracks a few bones in his arm. The fighting starts fast and furious – setting the precedent for the rest of the film’s blistering action sequences. And who better to head an action flick than a former mixed martial arts fighter? In this case, it’s Carano, a pitbull who can rock a little black dress, making her movie debut as covert government operative Mallory Kane.

She proves she can spar with the big boys, taking on a myriad of untrustworthy men – including Tatum, Hollywood’s latest “It” guy Michael Fassbender and Ewan McGregor – and beating them all senseless. It’s a good cast led by a respected director – Steven Soderbergh – which makes it all the more baffling that Haywire ends up being just another mindless action movie. The plot tries hard to be complicated and twisty-turny, but it only succeeds in being more confusing than intriguing. The gist is that Mallory gets double-crossed on a mission. She must exact revenge on those who betrayed her and ultimately clear her own name. There’s a mission in Barcelona, a covert operation that goes awry in Dublin and a vengeful showdown in New Mexico – but it’s all not as worldly as it sounds.

Soderbergh tries to distract you from any plot holes with lots of head bashing, glass breaking and spine crunching. The fight scenes are all very choreographed and staged. They all fight dirty to be sure – especially when Carano is squeezing Fassbender’s head between her legs in a suggestive spin on the chokehold – but the scenes aren’t as much fun to watch as say, the Bourne movies. There’s nothing interesting or unique about the fighting.

Carano’s tough and she’s got the right don’t-mess-with-me-attitude for the part. She’s not an actress, but for a role like this she doesn’t need to be. She just needs to kick ass and look sexy doing it, which is something she perfected during her stint as an MMA fighter. Oddly, though, Carano’s voice was digitally altered in post-production to give her character a deeper, raspier sounding voice. Knowing this proved distracting for me, though, because all I kept wondering was what he real voice sounded like.

Most of the supporting characters have little to do other than be Carano’s punching bags. McGregor is wasted as an ineffectual baddie, Bill Paxton is a weird casting choice as Mallory’s dad (incidentally, the only man she can trust), and I’m still trying to figure out why Michael Douglas and Antonio Banderas were even in this movie.

Not to mention why Mallory recants her whole ordeal to a complete stranger, played by Michael Angarano, as she eludes police while driving his car. A pointless way of delivering exposition to the audience? You betcha.

I wished there was more espionage and clever trickery and less punching and kicking. The best sequence is when Mallory’s on a mission with Fassbender’s Paul and she slowly discovers he’s up to no good as the two pretend to be a couple. After she offs him, she takes off through the gray streets of Dublin with “LEOS” (law enforcement officials) hot on her trail. In these scenes you come close to caring about what’s going on in the story, but the film as a whole never quite sucks you all the way in. Carano has promise as an action star, it’s just too bad Haywire isn’t a knock-out.

Synopsis:

This dynamic action-thriller directed by Oscar® winner Steven Soderbergh (Contagion) boasts a talented cast that includes Channing Tatum (GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra), Ewan McGregor (The Ghost Writer), Michael Fassbender (X-Men: First Class), Antonio Banderas (The Legend of Zorro), Bill Paxton (“Big Love”), Michael Douglas (Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps), Michael Angarano (Almost Famous); and introduces mixed martial arts (MMA) superstar Gina Carano as Mallory Kane, in a demanding lead role that has her performing her own high-adrenaline stunts.

Mallory Kane is a highly trained operative who works for a government security contractor in the dirtiest, most dangerous corners of the world. After successfully freeing a Chinese journalist held hostage, she is double crossed and left for dead by someone close to her in her own agency. Suddenly the target of skilled assassins who know her every move, Mallory must find the truth in order to stay alive.

Using her black-ops military training, she devises an ingenious—and dangerous—trap. But when things go haywire, Mallory realizes she’ll be killed in the blink of an eye unless she finds a way to turn the tables on her ruthless adversary.