So say you’re an alien from another planet. You come here, you hide out, and you go to high school as a way of fitting in. Then you meet a girl. A hot girl (this is a Hollywood movie after all). She’s a former cheerleader jock concubine, but has taken up photography because she’s artsy and all that. You discover that, among the other gifts your alien parents passed down to you, you have the ability to shoot light out of your hands. The girl of your dreams brings you into a dark room to look at the photos she’s developing, the place where she feels most safe and secure, and asks you to show her your ability. If you’re wondering why she wants our lead to light up his hands in a dark room and destroy everything she’s trying to develop… then you’ve officially exerted too much brainpower to really enjoy I Am Number Four.

To put it most simply, this is a film which has both entirely too story, and not enough story at the same time. A word of warning to aspiring directors, opening voiceovers are incredibly difficult to pull off. This is made even more apparent when everything that is described in the opening voiceover is explained somewhere else in the film. The exposition that begins when we meet the protagonist is so obtuse as to be unworthy of even the most passionate and attentive viewer. We don’t care about random names and places that we will never see and aren’t related to the narrative. For example, do we really need to know that the bad guys are called Mogadorians, especially if the name is that lame to begin with? Why can’t they just be the nameless, faceless, interestingly art designed baddies? There’s an example of information that we not only don’t need to have, but that actually hinders our suspension of disbelief. Oh no, the Mogadorians are coming. Give me a break.

So, heavy on the backstory to the point of feeling like a bad television pilot? Check. Now how about the plot of the movie itself? In a single word, I’d go with “thin.” Not a whole lot happens in total, and by the time we reach the final action sequence, you feel like things are just getting a chance to really warm up. I’d be game for a bigger budget sequel if only to have a little more reward for sitting through the first 20 minutes, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they get one, considering this appears to have cost a relative pittance, complete with a handful of recognizable but largely unknown lead actors. The children’s book series on which the film is based is slated to go for 6 books total, and considering the end of Harry Potter is nigh, studios are looking to fill the void with

the next big kiddie franchise. This may not be the huge hit the producers were hoping for, especially with the bad reviews its sure to rack up, but I’d be relatively surprised if we didn’t hear about a sequel script in the very near future.

There’s one thing that director D.J. Caruso doesn’t seem to get enough credit for, and that’s getting remarkably solid and convincing performances out of young talent. Shia Lebouf’s acting in both Disturbia and Eagle Eye are still his most impressive performances to date, and despite the script issues, all of the actors in I Am Number Four do a great job pulling their weight. The characters are easily the strongest part of the film, but that means that the generally mediocre visuals and uninspired art design let the movie fall short of its other popcorn requirements. Some solid creature effects have been kept tightly under wraps by the marketing department, and given that they’ve been contributed by ILM, they make the world feel a lot more expansive and intriguing. I’d be interested to see what Caruso could do if given a visionary director of photography, as his work continues to tread the fine line between Hollywood and TV Movie in the looks department. You’re never going to see a flick on TV and go “That’s a D.J. Caruso movie”, and he’ll need to develop his style if he wants to become a memorable filmmaker.

In truth, I actually found myself genuinely enjoying large stretches of I Am Number Four. The supporting characters are a lot of fun, Timothy Olyphant seems to finally be getting enjoyable work, and the action set pieces give you more of an adrenaline rush than the average superhero flick. Will the audience turn up? Considering the lack of anything else worth seeing over the past few months, I’d wager they will, and it’ll have almost free reign heading into March. If you take it seriously, you’re not going to find much to like, but if you’ve honed the ability to munch popcorn loud enough to obscure occasionally painful dialogue, then this is definitely worth a peek.

Synopsis:

Nine alien teens come to Earth after their planet is destroyed by an enemy species. But soon discover that their enemy is now after them on Earth.